I didn’t arrive at Mewtual Chaos alone. When everything in my life changed, I arrived with my whole colony… three moms, twelve kittens, and a few other adults who didn’t understand what was happening any more than I did. The other three adults were fixed first and moved into acclimation, but us moms stayed together in one big room with all the babies. It was crowded, confusing, and strange, but at least we were still together. And our kittens were safe.
The humans tried hard to make the room gentle for us. Soft voices. Predictable routines. Food that always showed up. I stayed quiet, keeping myself small in the corners, watching every move. I didn’t hiss or lash out, I just held my space and protected the little ones that might’ve been mine.
All the babies grew up safe and healthy. One by one, they were adopted into loving homes…all except Hades. Someone had planned to adopt him, but after so many cancellations, he simply grew past that tiny kitten stage while he waited. He’s still here with us for now, but he’s a wonderful, adoptable boy, and we know the right person will come for him when the time is right.
When it was time to move out of that room and into the sanctuary routine, I chose my place carefully. I never left the property. I didn’t wander into the woods where the wilder cats prefer to live. I stayed close: the porch, the carport, the concrete that feels familiar and safe. And my spot under Can Man’s car? That’s my home base. From there, I can see everything and everyone.
The humans don’t laugh when I rub on the vehicle bumpers. They understand why I do it. I use the edges of the metal like stand-in hands, something solid to lean into so I can feel comfort without risking too much too soon. It makes them a little sad, I can tell — they want to be the ones who get to pet me — but they respect the distance I need. And I appreciate that more than they know.
I come to the back door when I’m feeling lonely. I sit there quietly, close enough to listen to the soft talking from inside, close enough to let them know I’m here… but not close enough for touch. Five feet away is my magic number. I can handle five feet.
Why I’m Part of “I’m Still Wild, but I’m Home”
Because the song is me. Every word of it. I’m still wild, still shaped by the life I had before. But now I have a place where I choose to stay. A place that feels steady. A place where no one pushes me, and no one expects me to be something I’m not. A place where I’m loved without conditions.
I walk to the back door every day. I sleep in the same safe spots. I stay close without leaving the property. And even from a distance, this is home.
My Voice
“I’m here. I trust you… just not with my fur yet.”
Lend a Paw
Not every cat wants human hands on them. Some of us need room, time, and a place where no one forces affection. Supporting the Chaos Crew helps cats like me…the quiet ones, the gentle ferals, the watchers…stay safe, fed, healthy, and free to choose our own kind of home. If you want to lend a paw, your kindness helps keep my world soft, steady, and peaceful.