The Chaos Crew Explains: Our Dry Food Situation

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A heartfelt (and mildly dramatic) message from your favorite feline overlords.

Hello, humans.
It’s us — The Chaos Crew, your resident culinary experts and professional kibble critics. Today we’re finally addressing the question our staff gets all the time:

“Why isn’t dry food on your wishlist?”

Settle in. This is important.

Part 1: The Great Dry Food Revelation

Back in September 2024, our staff switched us to Costco’s Kirkland Signature Chicken & Rice Cat Food — and friends… it changed our lives.

  • Shinier coats
  • Happier tummies
  • Fewer complaints to management
  • More zoomies
  • Even our grumpiest cats looked marginally less murderous

The ingredients are good, the pre- and probiotics keep our guts from launching civil uprisings, and the price is excellent considering the quality.

We like it because we genuinely feel good on it.
The staff likes it because we eat less of it than our previous kibble. (Less in means less out, if you catch our drift…)

The only complication?

Costco is over two hours away.

Yes, the humans really do make that five-hour round-trip to Costco for us. Every time. But occasionally, when Mom’s favorite food evaporates into our bellies faster than predicted, they must stretch or share food for a bit.

They call it “being practical.”

We call it bring more kibble next time.

A note from the humans who make that drive: We will be ordering the food online and paying slightly more going forward, due to time constraints, the wear and tear on the vehicles, and because these little demons sometimes need more than our vehicles can safely haul!

Part 2: The Sam’s Club Salmon Situation

So when we run out, because someone always underestimates how fast a gazillion cats can eat, our staff dispatches Mom to Sam’s Club for Member’s Mark Prime Feast with Chicken + Salmon.

And listen… we really like this one.

Like “oh suddenly we’re all friends now” like it.
Like “we crunch with enthusiasm unknown to science” like it.

But here’s the tricky part:

We try not to rely too heavily on fish.

Too much fish can cause:

  • tummy drama
  • itchy skin
  • picky eating habits
  • mineral imbalance
  • and the infamous “I only eat salmon now” crisis

So while the Member’s Mark food is absolutely delicious, Costco’s Chicken & Rice is still our top everyday pick for health and consistency.

But on “Mom had to go to Sam’s” days?
We crunch dramatically to show our appreciation.

Part 2½: Why We Don’t Use Cheap Kibbles with Red Dye

While we’re talking about kibble choices, let’s address the bright-red elephant in the room.

You will not find cheap red-dye kibble in our bowls. Here’s why:

Reason One: The Ingredients Are… Suspicious

Budget kibbles are often made of:

  • corn
  • mystery meat
  • more corn
  • corn-flavored corn
  • and artificial dyes

Our bellies are dramatic enough. We do not need to introduce chaos in semi-liquid form.

Reason Two: Cheap Kibble Makes Us Eat WAY More

With low-quality fillers, we go from “regular cat” to “bottomless pit” instantly.

Given that we already consume 875 pounds a month, the staff has politely asked us to stop pretending we are cattle.

Reason Three: The Red Dye Crisis

Now the biggest reason:

No red dye. Ever.

When we tiny gremlins vomit or poop red — which cheap dyed foods often cause — our neurodivergent staff:

  • panics
  • assumes someone is dying
  • grabs the first aid kit
  • Googles frantically
  • calls the vet
  • calls each other
  • enters full meltdown mode

Two hours later: “Oh. Wait. They ate that red food.”

To protect the emotional stability of our caretakers, red dye is banned in dry food around here.

Part 3: What Happens If Someone Donates Dry Food We Don’t Use?

We gladly accept any brand of donated dry food — truly.

Why? Because our staff works closely with feral feeders and partner sanctuaries.

Non-preferred dry food goes straight to outdoor cats who rely on it to stay fed in their own colonies.

And that makes us very happy, because we want feral kitties to stay:

  • in their territories
  • with their cat-families
  • living their natural lives
  • without being scooped up unnecessarily

So donated grocery-store kibble?
Perfect.
It goes exactly where it’s needed most.

Nothing is wasted. Not ever.

Part 4: Costco Gift Cards (Since They Don’t Have Wishlists)

Costco refuses to acknowledge our importance by offering a public wishlist option.

So the easiest way to support our main dry food is:

Costco gift cards.

Our staff uses them exclusively for cat food runs.

Send them (or notes, stickers, drawings, or vibes) to:

PO Box 2
Vernon, FL 32462

And then send an email to Grandma so she knows to check our box!

Part 5: Our Official Wishlists

For the items that do change frequently, here are our live lists:

Dry food only appears if a specific cat temporarily needs a special formula.

Part 6: “If These Stores Allowed Wishlists…”

Some places don’t offer wishlist features, so here’s what our example lists would include:

Costco (Hypothetical Wishlist)

  • Kirkland Signature Chicken & Rice Dry Cat Food
  • Cat Treats
  • Kitty litter

Sam’s Club (Backup but Beloved)

  • Member’s Mark Prime Feast with Chicken + Salmon
  • Paper Towels
  • Bulk gloves
  • Trash bags
  • ROTISSERIE CHICKEN!!!!!!!

Tractor Supply

  • Pine pellets (the main litter used around here)

These are mainly for transparency, not as formal requests.

Final Thoughts from the Chaos Crew

We know the dry food topic can get confusing — but we hope this makes things crystal clear:

  • We eat specific dry foods for our health
  • We use Sam’s Club food when Costco’s runs out too soon
  • We avoid cheap red-dye kibble
  • Donated kibble helps feral cats stay safe in their colonies
  • Costco gift cards support our primary diet
  • And every donation truly supports a cat in need

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